Conrad Julius Ecklie (conrad_ecklie) wrote,
Conrad Julius Ecklie
conrad_ecklie

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Theatrical Muse: Week 252: Question 252

Name: Conrad Ecklie

Fandom:
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Word Count: 1022


Innuendo.


Dance can be all about innuendo, the reference to some other more romantic or secretive thought, and sometimes, when it is ordered, strict and devoid of happiness, then it can just as equally, refer to emptiness. To dance, you have to feel something within yourself, something that drives you, and it doesn’t matter whether this is a happy or a sad thing, positive or negative. If it makes you dance, then it is a reservoir of some kind of strength that will drive you to do better and more fantastic movements. However, to dance, you also have to have knowledge of movements, music, and timing, even in small amounts, that have become married with the desire to dance. This is because drive and spirit, without knowledge or the desire to gain knowledge, are often irrelevant things felt within the chest, mind or heart, that amount to very little.

I have danced for many years now, both competitively and as a hobby or sport, as it can be considered sometimes, by some. During the course of my dancing career I have danced for a multitude of different reasons, some positive, some not positive, and now, when I dance, it is mainly to exhaust myself beyond the point of feeling. I shall start at the beginning however, as that is the proper way to start.

Raised with a Greek background as I was, I have always had some modicum of liking to dance. I grew up surrounded by a multitude of first generation Greek-Americans, so the traditions of their background, via their parents, were still very strong within them. I am something in between first and second generation from what I can gather from my family history, of which there is scant left, but whatever I am, I still get the point of tradition. People, Greek people, they dance when they want to, and it is some kind of imposing cultural spirit that drives them, happiness, sadness, deep sombreness, whatever it is, the loyalty to movement that I saw growing up, was profound, and that fact can not be argued in any instance. This, however, is just one part of a puzzle you will never truly understand, but I say it because I am duty bound to answer the question exactly as it has presented itself. Therefore, since innuendo, to me, is mainly referential towards dancing, then it is dancing that I speak of.

I grew up, moving on beyond my own mixed cultures, and quickly started to apply myself to dancing as both a school and as a pursuit. From childhood to adulthood, I learnt many variations of dance, ballet, modern, classical, and from other cultures as well. I gained knowledge, and I drove myself to perfection of movement and rhythm, this is simple. I danced in performances, I danced in competitions, in plays and in the street, I danced everywhere, with a multitude of different people, for different reasons, and while pure, unbridled enjoyment is not the description I would use, dancing, for me, has always had some purpose.

So, I have explained my desire for knowledge. Dancing, to me, is simply another compendium of information to be filled. If I was going to do it, way back when I started it, then I ought to learn more about it and its implicit variations. Therefore, I did, I have, and sometimes, I still do. However, the reason why I dance, is not what most people dance for, or at least, without tearing open the psychological profiles and back histories of every dancer I have met, it is not. Most people that I have met through the course of my life, if they dance, they dance for joy, they dance because it makes them happy and because they see a space for improvement with what their capabilities enable them to do.

I don’t dance for joy, per say, I dance because dance is there, and I am very, very good at it. As a form of exercise, it keeps me physically fit, and because of the knowledge and precise nature of dancing, it helps to keep my mind sharp also. Dancing does not raise unbridled happiness in me, it does not let me see bright meadows of possibility. Dancing, it is a procedural thing, one that, if I make the right step within the specified allotment of time, in accordance to the music, then I am successful in my endeavour to perform the correct movement. Stringing knowledge in harmony with perfection of movement and my innate ability to understand what people desire to see, then these things alone make me a very good dancer. Better than those who dance for joy and happiness, anyway, because people who let go of their emotions often get out of control, and they lose their place, their timing, their ability to remember just exactly what comes next, and when indeed it should be done.

Dancing, on many occasions, can have a kind of implicit innuendo about it, whether it occurs through the music or the movements. But if you chose to look at life that way, then many things can have a type of innuendo or sexual reference attached to them. For me, it is simple, if I dance a romantic dance, then I will make it romantic, if I dance something happy, it will be happy. The good thing about dancing, for me, is that it is all a performance, the success of which occurs in relation to how talented a performer you are. I am a very good performer, therefore I am a very good dancer. See, there, is no joy about that assumption. A romantic dance is the marriage of innuendo and movement that references it, if you chose to term it that way. More simply, dance, is a marriage of the ability to move, and a knowledge of movement. I dance to dance, I do not dance to feel or have joy within myself. Joy is pointless, and thinking you can have it because you can dance and feel something like it, as a result of the dancing, is even more pointless still.
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