Conrad Julius Ecklie (conrad_ecklie) wrote,
Conrad Julius Ecklie
conrad_ecklie

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Theatrical Muse: Week 244: Question 244

Name: Conrad Ecklie

Fandom:
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Word Count: 585


"That's something I think is growing on me as I get older: happy endings." -- Alice Munro (Bringing Life to Life)


Happy endings don’t exist. Not truly happy endings, for no ending is, forever, happy. Oh yes, a child may be returned to its mother after being lost for a day, after being kidnapped for a week, but it is a foolish person who expects everything for that child to be happy after that. That child will grow up, and whoever they are, they will experience the harshness of the world, just like the rest of humanity does. Do you get that? It is a simple concept, really, because no matter how hard someone works, no matter how happy, the achieved goal seems, what happiness it really brings, is only fleeting. The high, as some may say, never lasts, not in any imaginable form. It falls, is missed, and is then replaced by some other emotion, some kind of new and more present success that has happened more recently in the history of things. People get married, and while their union may be euphoric, they soon have the rest of life to face. It is not to say that they will always be sad, but neither will they always be happy, either.

I have lived for too long, and seen too much in my life, to really believe in happy endings as they are commonly thought of by main stream society. People entertain the thought that a happy ending, whether it is theirs, or that of a person, entails lasting happiness, always available joy in some form or another. What they don’t get is that happiness, like ancient civilisations, falls fast when exposed to the passage of time. Time wrecks all happiness and all structure of life, because something new always replaces something old and soon to be forgotten, something that has lost its purpose or relevance in relation to the situation at hand.

I have had parents and imagined my acceptance of having a family structure as a permanent one, at least until time passed and nature took grip on my parents, taking them away to death. I was wrong about the nature aspect of things, and my parents died long before their time was up. I have been married, and thought that, in marriage, I had finally found my happy ending again. My wife died before her time also, and in turn, I lost any belief in happy endings that I may have gained back by her very presence in my life.

Humanity will always function like its ancestors. We find what is new and we use it, sometimes even abuse it, until it dies and leaves our existence. The club fell away to the spear, to the knife, to the gun. Wood, coal, electricity, nuclear power stations, all falling away to what is greater and bigger and potentially more harmful. Happiness falls away to arguments, to disagreements and unhappiness, not because they are always better, but because they are always available. Somewhat unlike the passing of old technologies to new ones, happiness and supposed happy endings are more cyclical. For most people, sadness, soon passes into happiness again as something more joyous occupies their sight once more. But no, for me, there are no more happy endings. Not again, not ever. That is what has grown on me as I have become older. There is nothing, no ending, ever, anymore, that could possibly be happy for me. There is nothing left for me to be happy about, but it does not bother me because I succeed, I always succeed, where everyone else fails.
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