Conrad Julius Ecklie (conrad_ecklie) wrote,
Conrad Julius Ecklie
conrad_ecklie

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Theatrical Muse: Week 206: Question 206

Name: Conrad Ecklie

Fandom:
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Word Count: 1227


What do you live for?


I live for nothing and for no one person. I am a man who lives alone, and I have done so for a very long time. I live, simply because I am alive. I work, to earn money, so I can lead a good, comfortable life, and eat regular, healthy meals inside a home that is kept nicely, and in full, functioning, working order. Aside from my aunt, I have no one else related to be, or especially close to me in my life, so, it tis the eventual reason that, truthfully, I live for myself, and myself only. Yes, I do care for my aunt, and I owe her my current life as I know it, but I do not live for her. I do not wake up in the morning, brightened by her presence in my life. We have a close relationship, closer than most aunts and nephews ever have, but our relationship is not the type that we think about each other constantly. We are close, very close, but our relationship is strong in a different way to that.

To live for someone implies a certain amount of dependency from one person to another. To live for something implies the same thing, that the person concerned has a dependency on something, an object or a way of live even, that, without, they might consider not living anymore, or, if they continue living, such a person may not be as happy as they were in their previous lifestyle. I learned, many years ago, that living for someone, or for something, waking up and going to sleep, breathing and thinking, with whatever thing in the back of my mind, was a pointless activity. Having something, some external thing, or person, that drives you to life, is not an activity I indulge in anymore. I live for myself, I wake up in the morning with the success and continued living of my own person, the only thing in my mind. No one else is there.

Some people may see this mindset as an extremely selfish one, but I do not, and I never have. For me, being concerned with only myself, living for myself only, is a way of living and thinking that has led me to my current survival and state of success. I am not selfish, I do not shove others aside or put myself ahead of people for no reason, but I am driven, and because I am driven, without any distractions, I have a higher rate of success than some people have. I am not saying that people with other people in their lives risk the chance of failure more often, or a lessened success rate, I am simply saying that my particular way of function is efficient, and that it works, and has always worked, very well for me.

I work to live, I do not live to work. Of course, I usually wake up in the morning, and soon I begin to think of work, but that is only because that is normally what constitutes a large part of the day ahead of me. My work sees that I get a regular pay check, that I have money, that I can live and function outside of work, as I desire, so of course it makes sense that I think about my work often. But that is that, a simple, inexcusable fact. I work to live, so I can live life as I desire, I do not live just to go to work in the morning. If, tomorrow, I lost my job, or I took an early retirement for some reason, such as major injury, then that is just another fact, another event in my life, as I live it. When I am gone from my work, no one will miss me, no one will remember the hours of work I have put into helping make the Las Vegas crime lab a success. I will simply be Conrad Ecklie, a person who worked there, and who has subsequently left after a long career as a public servant. Simple things, really. If, tomorrow, my job was no more, if I was jobless, then that would be just an occurrence in my life. I may regret the absence of my job, but, because I do not live for my job, because I work to live, it will not harm me very much.

I enjoy my job, I certainly do enjoy my job, and seek to do it, otherwise I wouldn’t be in such a profession. My job intrigues me, and I learn much information from it. My particular talents have taken me to a career rich in forensic knowledge, and a broad knowledge of the many aspects of the spectrum of knowledge that is science. I am aware of the fact that I am a highly intelligent, able person, not only because evaluations tell me this, but because I am personally aware of these facts, myself. I desire to succeed, because I do not consider failure to be a particularly favourable aspect in life. I succeed because I am driven to succeed, and I live for myself, and myself only. I am a man capable of many things, and I am an intelligent person at that. I do care for my aunt, I do love my aunt, very much, and I owe her a great deal from rescuing me from a fate worse than the one I was already in as a small child.

However, all my success, all my drive to succeed, is a force that will always continue to be driven by no other person than myself. I alone am responsible for my own actions, and my own, relevant, success in life, and in my profession as a public servant and as a CSI. No one else will drive me to succeed, and while other people may support me, and enable me to gain success in my life, I am aware of them, I treat them fairly and properly. I do not step on anyone to succeed, I do not harm anyone, because, while it is only myself that I am concerned, I am aware of the needs of others, also. In my life, to succeed, I have relied only on myself to drive my life, to give my life purpose, and no one else. To succeed, however, I must work appropriately and successfully with other people. In the end, the result will always be the same if I continue to function this way. If I continue to work to live, and not live to work, I will succeed. If I continue to live for no one other than myself, but to continue to care for others as I do so, then I will succeed. These are simple facts, and useful facts, that will always me true for me. I have seen things from the other side of the fence, and have found them to be pointless and redundant, so, as such, I have found the way that works best. As a result, such a way of functioning, of living, of treating people and regarding the world, and my work, as a whole, works just fine for me, as it always has done, and always will do, for as long as I continue working, and for as long as I continue living.
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