Conrad Julius Ecklie (conrad_ecklie) wrote,
Conrad Julius Ecklie
conrad_ecklie

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Theatrical Muse: Week 155: Question 155

Name: Conrad Ecklie

Fandom:
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Word Count: 1322


Ecklie Vs. Grissom; It's war! Describe yourself fighting against Gil Grissom.


It’s nothing, really, to the untrained eye. Grissom and I handle our differences evenly enough, and to someone who does not know the history we have shared, does not know our views, opposing or not, I think it would be, definitely, very hard to guess that we strongly dislike many aspects of each other’s way of being. Besides, if you treat someone coldly, with a cool air of indifference, it doesn’t really mean that you want them to die, it may just mean that you disagree with them quite definitely. That is still a factor in how people judge other people, however. It would be nice if first impressions didn’t matter, but in reality, they do, very much, especially when you are trying to counsel someone who has just lost a person very dear and near to their heart. Even if that person does not get on well with that someone that they are identifying the body of, they still are shocked, because the person they have known, is now no more. You can see that shock in a person’s eyes. No matter whether you love, or hate someone, like or dislike them, the death of anyone you know is still a shock. It always is, and always will be.

I do not hate Gill Grissom, but I do dislike some of the values he has come to hold close to his heart. This is partly because I have made the same mistakes he is yet to make, and I have learnt from them, and also, partly, because I think some of his views, are, really, just wrong. He invests a certain amount of emotional property in each case he works. He lets himself become attached to others because he tries to feel their suffering. He has seen the same horrors of the world I have seen, and yet, he still lets himself believe that things will turn out differently if he makes impassioned words to his team, to the people he is helping by solving the possible murder of the people they know and love. I don’t invest myself personally in my cases, and that is one of my defining differences from Gil Grissom. He cares, and while I still care just as much as he does, about our jobs and what is involved in doing them, I care in a vastly different way. I do to let myself get emotionally attached to my cases, to the people I deal with, I just do what has to be done, and say what has to be said. Of course, I am a public servant, and so I work for the public, providing a service to them, to help them, but it doesn’t mean that I carry home their pain everyday like he does sometimes. Eventually, I think, it may hurt him in more ways than one, because, even if his own mind doesn’t collapse under the pressure death and torment can bring on the brain, then it will affect someone near him. I can see that.

While this is of no major detriment to myself or my work, Grissom, seems happy where he is. He seeks no more pay, no more advanced work, no promotion or difference in his daily routine. While I seek to climb up the career ladder, he seems perpetually stuck on one or two rungs, and, as a result, his situation changes precious little. Oh sure, his team may get hurt, or injured, physically or emotionally, and he will care for them, but, and I know this for a fact, he would never dream of leaving them behind, currently at least, in order to go somewhere else, where he is doing more important work for more important amounts of money.

Grissom and I disagree on many things, it seems. I prefer to be less emotionally attached to my cases, and I favour an efficient, professional approach. He lets himself, allows himself, to become emotionally attached to the cases he works, and while he still does his job properly, something which I don’t have an issue with, he can take these meandering, unorthodox turns which I think, I would find distracting from the real goal and purpose of our job. That being, of course, to serve the public of the city of Las Vegas in a way which allows us to function at a rate that pays due attention to the cases as needed, but then lets us just get on with things. The point that I am trying to make is that he gets bogged down with things sometimes, which, may, in the end of something long and convoluted, have a point, but by which time is a point that has already been discovered in some fashion. I function much quicker, and in a much more orderly fashion. My team is impeccable, because they have been taught to run themselves well, to function in a clean and orderly manner, according to the books. Grissom’s team, is all over the place, so it’s no wonder there is so large an amount of trouble that he has with them every now and then.

Grissom does not play the office politics game, and I do. He will, however, never play it very well, if really at all. He will never advance, but he is good enough, smart enough, to keep himself from going backwards, and to keep himself going forwards on his own road, at his own pace.

I envy Grissom, though, on one thing and one thing only. He has been fortunate to have found, and kept, his true love. While naive, I have realised that the concept of true love is probably, in all probability, a very real one, for many people. Once, I myself, had true love, and I was foolish enough to have lost it when my wife was raped and killed. As the years have fallen away before my eyes since that time, I have grown older, I have lost my hair, and the sense of life with which Michelle once filled me. When Grissom looks at Sara, I can see love for her in his eyes, even if he, as of yet, doesn’t know it. The way they look and act around each other, I know, that they will end up together. It is, however, an intuition of mine born out of experience, both that experience which has involved loving, and losing, the people I have loved and held dear to my heart.

Personally, I do not like Gil Grissom all that much. I do not hate him nor detest him in that vile and ugly way which makes up the beginnings of intense hatred, or even murder, but I still do not like him. He stands for many things that I do not believe in, or have lost belief in, and I know, that at the end of the day, at least where job, profession, and financial security come in, I will be the victor. I am happy where I am, but I seek to improve myself and move on upwards up the ranks. Grissom is happy, but he does not want to go anywhere at all, and, admittedly, he has so much talent, if only he could put it to a better, more office political sense of being. Eventually, in a professional way, I will leave Grissom behind, and he will be happy with it, and, admittedly, so will I. Grissom, can do what he wants, but I never, will ever, be like him. I will not be cruel nor vindictive towards him, I am not going to harm the way he functions in his job, but I do believe that some of what he does, some of the way he functions, is not right. To me, at least, it is not right, and as such, it seems that on the many points I have classified and elaborated on, we will always disagree.
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