Conrad Julius Ecklie (conrad_ecklie) wrote,
Conrad Julius Ecklie

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Theatrical Muse: Week 159: Question 159

Name: Conrad Ecklie

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Word Count: 625

Talk about one thing you hope to do in the upcoming year that you have never done before. It could be something significant or something trivial.

I want to get married. No, please, your belief in my sarcasm is quite sickening. Of course I don’t want to fucking get married. I do not love, I do not, care, anymore, for the kind of relationship that Sara and Grissom have. Oh, yes, they aren’t finger wavingly together, but everyone notices how they act around each other, everyone notice’s the types of lover’s spats they have, even if they aren’t, technically, lovers, at the current moment. It is not that I am incapable of loving, or caring, for that matter, about another human being, for I love and care about my aunt very much, as she has always been there for me, especially when I have needed her most. However, in the department of romantic love that evolves in to a partner like relationship, I am not, looking, for anything like that. I do not need it, and neither does it need me, especially, someone, like, me. Oh, I’m sure I could be capable to making a loving relationship work, but I feel no need to start one, as I am perfectly happy with who and what I am, right now.

When Michelle died, in my heart, I knew there was never going to be anyone else. No one else, because she was it for me, she was, and always will be in one way or another, my perfect woman, my perfect match. She loved me, and I loved her back, and, it was the most unconditional love I have seen since my parents’ marriage. I miss that, I miss her helping me cook dinner, and water the garden. I miss her naughty games of teasing, and push and shove. I miss our fights at work, because most of them, were never, really, that real at all. We didn’t hate each other, we just liked to fight with each other, to shout and get angry, because, it made us feel alive. Then I’d walk off and we’d make out in the supplies closet. It was nice, life, was nice, when Michelle was alive, and, I honestly miss her, I, dearly, dearly, do.

What do I intend to do this year? I intend to continue working, I intend to have my birthday, and see yet another passing of the anniversary of the deaths of my parents and wife. I intend to spend as much time with my aunt as I can, and I intend to watch the world, as I have always done. Someone like me, does not get involved in things, they, do not, they, just, do not. Instead, they sit, and watch, and work, and continue on with their lives. That is what I have done, I have continued, on, with my life, and, that, that is what I intend to do this year. I intend to continue, and keep on working, and that is all I need to do, because, that, is all I want to do. I am content with my life, I am content with my person, and, I am content, with my job. I have financial security, good, adequate, well paying work, a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, clothes to wear, and food on my table. That, it, is all I will ever need, and all, I will ever, want. I want or need nothing else, and, I am, content. If I want to do something new this year, I will do it, if, and when, I come to it, although, I suspect, such a thing, such a happening, is going to be a highly unlikely occurrence. I am content, and I am happy, and that is that, that is, most simply, that. Now, don’t push any further, and promptly, piss the fuck off.

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