Conrad Julius Ecklie (conrad_ecklie) wrote,
Conrad Julius Ecklie
conrad_ecklie

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Theatrical Muse: Week 42: Question 42

Name: Conrad Ecklie

Fandom:
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Word Count: 601


Does heartache make you stronger?


Two questions that I’m going to burn, in a row? Well I think you have truly passed the point at where this was horribly boring, I now think we’ve moved onto sleep inspiring. I will restate, I am going to burn this piece of paper like all the others I have burnt and I’m actually starting to think of burning the rest of these godforsaken papers as well. I’ll take the liberty of finishing the questions off once and for all just to know that I did finish this imbecilic task and didn’t stop halfway through it and give in to its utter stupidity.

Heartache in my opinion does make you stronger and for most cases, probably wiser as well. I should know because I’ve had enough of the experience to make a qualified statement about the matter. Heartbreak is unique, you know everywhere you go the next thing you could do could get it broken into a million tiny pieces again but you disregard that fact so, when it does happen you have been left unprepared for what to do. You sit there in your mind afterwards, wondering what went wrong, I continued on after my heartbreaks because I am a strong person and I am not just going to give up because life deals me a few sharp handed cards. But it is hard yet it gets easier everyday afterwards. If you suffer heartbreak enough times or majorly once or more then you become stronger and it is for the better. I continued on because I had to and I needed to and when it came again that my heart had been broken I was prepared and I did the same thing as I had before, I just kept going. That’s all really a person can do, you can’t go back and piece it together again because it is gone, sure a person can watch by the guidelines and hope it will get better without them doing anything but it is them and only them who can get after it. The key to that is continuing, by doing that more options are opened up for a person to do to ease the heartbreak and piece their heart’s and their life’s back together again I never have done anything particularly drastic to fix my heartbreak because getting on with life was a cure all for my particular case.

In my job, I can not let my emotions get in the way and I do not because I do not have any. I have learned from the many harsh lessons of my life that I do not need to feel to live, feeling for me is not essential any more or not as essential as it used to be. I chose to become unfeeling after a while because it is the only way I can get on with things, sure, there are brief moments that something sparks at my soul but they are brief and scarce. I have to feel in my job, I have to feel it is the right decision when I close a case, I have to feel what I am doing is right but for myself, often enough I scarcely feel anything anymore. But I’m happy about it and I couldn’t be happier because of it. Some people learn to feel again, choose to feel again, I’ve learnt to feel again after my heartbreaks but I choose not to feel. You can sit watching your life go by or you can jump back in, I jumped back in. I don’t feel because it’s what helps me survive.
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